July 2009

Don’t prostate yourself

23 Jul, 2009  No Comment

The McVitamins website tells us:

The prostrate is a small chestnut sized gland located just beneath the urinary bladder

No, not quite! This is a very common error. It is now so common that the prostate, the gland surrounding the neck of the bladder in male mammals (which comes from Greek prostates, one that stands before) is commonly misspelled as prostrate meaning lying stretched out on the ground with one’s face downwards (which comes from Latin prosternere, to throw down). It is also common to find people prostating themselves.

If you Google prostrate you will find several sites for prostrate [sic] cancer. These are either mistakes or deliberate attempts to capture people searching using the wrong term. Also on Google there any many links to individuals who would prostate [sic] themselves before all manner of things but not a bladder.

So be careful! This is an area for embarrassment. Your spellchecker will not pick these up but an editor or proof-reader will.

Twelve signs of bad writing

17 Jul, 2009  No Comment

Do you recognise the twelve signs of bad copywriting? Let me help you discover how to identify bad writing:

1. Bad spelling

Bad spelling is less common than it used to be because of electronic spell-checkers. However, it still happens because the wrong form of the word is used, for example: he is dependant on his license? which should read, he is dependent on his licence! The spell-checker doesn’t know!

2. Bad grammar

Bad grammar, punctuation and syntax are still very common. Although perfect grammar evades us all, very poor grammar is a problem when the meaning of text is made unclear: for example the man carried a cat whistling blues tunes. (Cool cat!)

3. Poor structure

Poor structure is usually obvious when there are too many long sentences and too few paragraphs. Readers find it difficult to follow the flow of the writer’s ideas.

4. Discriminatory language

Discriminatory language that is racist or sexist still happens. Some of it is accidental and caused by the limitations of English in describing the singular person as either he or she but most is just insensitive.

5. Gobbledegook

Some work is so poorly written that it is meaningless and just not understandable.

6. Passive voice

The passive voice is when a writer makes what should be the object of a sentence the subject, for example: the business was successful compared to she created a successful business.

7. Wrong audience

If you don’t understand what you are reading it might not have been written for you. A lot of material by professional services contains jargon that the writer understands but is not clear to the reader.

8. No purpose

Writing must have a purpose. Writing seeks to persuade, inform or entertain. Advertising copy must have a call to action.

9. Weazel words

Beware of weazel words and clichés. Both seem to have strong meanings but really mean nothing, for example how often have you heard politicians say, “I have a commitment to infrastructure investment”.

10. Concatenations

This is my jargon, sorry, but concatenations are a strings of verbs, for example: she had commenced undertaking planning of the preliminary investigations for the project that try to make the simple sound more sophisticated, in this example, what should be said is: she had started the project.

11. Bland

Bland and boring language is recognised when you see the reader’s head hit the table. Bang!

12. Exaggerated or untruthful

There is no point in being the best in the business if no one knows what the best is. Many readers suspect this sort of superlative language and won’t believe it. Comparisons with familiar things are more honest and authentic.

13. Inconsistency

Much business writing contains inconsistencies in the text (did you notice this is the 13th point in the twelve signs of bad copy-writing). Also when facts and figures are used in a document they should be the same everywhere they are used.

If you don’t recognise these (13) signs of bad copy-writing when you see them you probably need to contact a good copywriter for your business writing.

Utegate is a scandal but what is a ute?

5 Jul, 2009  No Comment

The Australian Government’s Utegate affair has been a wonderful bit of political accusation, counteraccusation and media manoeuvring. It has tested the media and political skills of both sides of politics.

As far as political scandals go the effects of Utegate are likely to be transitory. The Australian Government managed to deflect the issue into challenging the credibility of an email at the centre of the allegations. So the PM managed to avoid damage by shifting the spotlight on to the Opposition Leader, who ended up with engine oil on his face.

The whole thing revolved around Australian Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd’s ute – a 1996 Mazda – lent to him by a Canberra motor dealer who then, allegedly, got special funding treatment from the Treasurer.

Now, although corruption is corruption, I think the PM borrowing a rusty, 13 year-old Mazda isn’t comparable with the British politicians and their rorts. The ute is not in good condition (probably worth less than $4,000) and so basic that you would only drive it to move dirt from one place to another (or political slogans in this case). The state of the vehicle is probably more of an embarrassment for the prime minister than the bribe implication. We haven’t yet seen Mazda using the vehicle to promote their product range.

Many object to the press naming the incident Utegate. However, this is the most interesting part; it is very Australian and makes it completely incomprehensible to anyone from overseas.

If you from anywhere else in the world you would be asking the question what on earth is a ute? The answer is simple: it is short for a utility vehicle, that is, a sedan-sized truck mostly with a sided tray and a hinged tail-gate. The Americans call them pickups and the South Africans bakkies (most likely derived from the Afrikaans word bak for a baking tin but perhaps also derived as a variation on buggy).