The Australian reported on the annual Shonky Awards this week. The Shonkys are handed out to companies for making dodgy claims about their products.

Poor L’Oreal was given a Shonky for claiming that Nutrileum, a substance said to be in its conditioner, actually does any good. When I went to L’Oreal’s website to investigate I came to a very graphical section named the Magic of Research which really gave the game away don’t you think?

But perhaps it is a little unfair to single them out. There are quite a few shampoos out there using imaginative copy to persuade prospective customers to trust their hair to a particular chemical treatment.

Bio Ionic Super Hydrator Intensive Moisturizing Shampoo

How many tautologies can you get onto one label?

Marc Anthony Aroma Organics Smoothing Shampoo

One website suggested:

The word “organics” in the title will annoy true organic lovers since many of the ingredients on the label are three and four syllables long — a good indication that they’re not entirely organic.

No it indicates nothing of the sort – organic chemical names can be wonderfully long!

John Frieda Brilliant Brunette Lustrous Touch Smoothing Shampoo

Say no more…

Resistance Bain Volumactive Volumising Shampoo For Fine And Vulnerable Hair

Only to be used by vulgar, vulcanologists in Venezuala with vasectomies vying to be venereal with voluptuous virgins in the vicinity of the vestry on Valentine’s Day.