Ambrose Everett Burnside (23 May 1824–13 September 1881) was a Union Army general in the American Civil War. His early campaigns were successful but his forces were heavily defeated at the Battle of Fredericksburg and the Battle of the Crater, earning him the reputation as one of the most incompetent generals of the war. His military reputation was one of being obstinate, unimaginative, and unsuited for high command.

Despite these failings, Burnside was popular in the army and in the political career he pursued afterwards. He was personable, cheerful and remembered everyone’s name. He was modest (apparently unusual for the officers of the Union Army) and recognized his own shortcomings—only reluctantly taking the promotions thrust upon him.

He was known for “wearing what was probably the most artistic and awe-inspiring set of whiskers in all that bewhiskered Army”. And despite his military failures and unexceptional political achievements he gave his name to the particular way he wore his facial hair. The strips of hair grown down the sides of his face in front of his ears became known as burnsides. This distinctive style is now known as sideburns with the compound switched around. If sideburns meet at the chin they then, by definition, become a beard.

Burnside was not the first man to wear sideburns. They are known throughout history. Alexander the Great had them. The Torah, the Jewish holy book, includes a law on how you should wear them it says, “You shall not round off the peyos of your head” (Leviticus 19:27). Peyos are defined as the hair in front of the ears that extends down to beneath the cheekbone, level with the nose. This unusual law was aimed at helping Jewish men avoid vanity and to focus on being of good character.

Sideburns replaced whiskers, the previous word for sideburns, in English. The Mexican form, as worn by revolutionaries, were known as balcarrotas.

Sideburns are not the only eponyms (objects given the names of people) that got their names from association with soldiers. There are wellingtons, rubber boots named after another military leader, Arthur Wellesley, 1st Duke of Wellington (1769-1852); and the cardigan, a knitted sweater that buttons in front named after James Thomas Brudnell, 7th Earl of Cardigan (1797-1868), a British cavalry officer.

The word drongo originates as a word for a type of bird. The Spangled Drongo (Dicrurus bracteatus) is the only species of the drongo family found in Australia. The name originally comes from Malagasy, the indigenous language of Madagascar (where there are quite a few drongo species).

It is commonly suggested that the slang use of drongo came about as a reference to the bird’s apparently manic and almost comical behaviour as it swoops and dives in flight chasing insects. The strange behaviour was then metaphorically applied to people who were behaving idiotically. Another suggestion is that it refers to the idea that some species of the bird migrate to colder regions in winter, which is contrary to commonsense. However, the birds’ behaviour or migratory habits are not things that most Australians would be familiar with and are considered incorrect derivations.

The true derivation is from the Australian racehorse named Drongo of the early 1920s (which had taken its name from the bird). Now, while every Australian reveres Phar Lap—the thoroughbred that became a national hero a few years later (during the Great Depression)—Drongo is little remembered except that his name has passed into Australian folklore.

Drongo was not a particularly bad horse, he ran several seconds and a third in major races and even came fifth in the 1924 Sydney Cup. Although he came very close to winning major races, in 37 starts he never won a race (Phar Lap on the other hand won 37 races from 51 starts including the Melbourne Cup in 1930).

Soon after Drongo retired, racegoers started to use his name to describe other horses that were having unlucky careers or that had failed to live up to expectations. The word drongo soon took on a more negative meaning and was applied to people who were hopeless cases, no-hopers or fools.

In the Royal Australian Air Force during the 1940s new recruits were known as drongos, which, in a nice little bit of word-use, recombined the bird meaning with the idiot meaning.

So if you get called a drongo this Australia Day remember poor old Drongo, who was neither a bird nor a flyer.

These were the pioneering days of wireless communication. Wireless telegraphy had only just started to be used on ships through the work of Guglielmo Marconi (who was waiting in New York to join the Titanic on the return journey). Telegraphers used morse code to send messages by tapping out letters using a series of dots (short signals) and dashes (long signals).

CQD

When Phillips first sent the Titanic’s distress signal he tapped out: CQD CQD CQD CQD CQD CQD. British wireless operators used CQ as a general broadcast to all stations, and since 1904, CQD as a distress signal. The letters meant calling all stations (CQ) we are in distress (D) and did not represent a message such as Come quick danger.

SOS

After little response to the CQD message, Harold Bride, the Second Radio Officer suggested they also use SOS SOS SOS. SOS had been adopted in 1908 as the international distress signal (after much debate) because the three dots, three dashes and three dots were unmistakable and could not be misinterpreted. There is a popular but incorrect belief that SOS means Save Our Ship, Save Our Souls, or Send Out Succour.

The distress signals of the Titanic were recognised but the ships that responded were not close enough to get there before she sank.

Mayday

More than a decade later, with the development of voice transmission, a new international distress message was required. The Mayday callsign originated in 1923 when Frederick Mockford, a senior radio officer at Croydon Airport in London, was asked to think of a distress call easily understood by pilots and ground operators. Because most of the airport traffic at that time was between Croydon and Le Bourget Airport in Paris, he proposed the word Mayday from the French m’aider, a shortening of venez m’aider meaning come help me.

Pan-pan

The distress signal pan-pan is used for an urgent situation of a lower order than a Mayday (or SOS) such as a mechanical breakdown or a medical problem. It comes from the French, panne, meaning a breakdown. Similarly to other distress signals there are constructed meanings for the word: Possible Assistance Needed or Pay Attention Now.

These distress signals, CQD, SOS, Mayday and pan-pan, have all been derived from words or codes. The constructions of phrases around them are examples of “backronyms”, reverse or backward acronyms, phrases constructed around words rather than acronyms that are words constructed from phrases.

This year we will remember the lost souls of those passengers who, despite the signals of their radio operators, were not rescued from the waters of freezing Atlantic a century ago.

Christmas is the mid-winter celebration of the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. Christmas means literally Christ’s mass. It is derived from the Middle English Cristemasse, from Old English Crīstesmæsse, a phrase first recorded in 1038.

Sometimes Christmas is abbreviated to Xmas, the X representing Christ. Although this irritates some people, it is a very old tradition, with an early form, Xres mæsse, appearing in the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle of about 1100.

Christ is the main title given to Jesus, it comes from the Greek, khristos, for the anointed. This term replaced the Old English name, hæland, for “healer” as the preferred descriptive title for Jesus. Jesus has about 200 different titles or names in the New Testament.

Jesus the Saviour

The Hebrew name for Jesus is Yeshua, a name found 27 times in the Hebrew Bible. Yeshua is short for Yehoshua (Joshua), which means Yahweh (God) is salvation. It is derived from the Hebrew verb yasha which means saves or delivers and Yeho of the divine name of God, Yahweh. (Matthew 1:21—She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.)

Messiah

Messiah comes from the Aramaic meshiha and Hebrew mashiah meaning anointed (of the Lord), from mashah meaning anoint. Christ is the Greek translation of the Aramaic, messiah.

In the Old Testament prophesies, the Messiah was the term used for the awaited leader who was to deliver the Jewish nation from the oppression of the Romans. The modern English form represents this transferred sense of the liberator or saviour of a captive people.

Emmanuel

Emmanuel meaning meaning God is with us (Matthew 28:20—I am with you always, even unto the end of the world). It consists of two Hebrew words: El, meaning God, and Immanu, meaning with us. This is an example of theophany, using God’s name (El) as part of given name, which is common throughout the Old Testament (Daniel—God is my judge; Gabriel—strong man of God; Israel—struggles with God; Michael—who is like God; Nathaniel—gift of God; and Samuel—name of God).

Lord

Lord, is the English translation of the Greek word Kyrios (κύριος) for God, lord or master which appears over 700 times in the New Testament. Kyrios was the common translation of the Aramaic, Mari, which was a respectful form of address, meaning a superior teacher, a ranking similar to Rabbi.

Redeemer

The Redeemer (Job 19:25 But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives. In the end, he will stand upon the earth) comes from Latin redimere to redeem, buy back and, in this sense means that Christ will redeem the souls of mankind by his sacrifice upon the cross.

We have broken down the essential elements of winning a tender into six components; the first five are about getting into the race and the last is about winning it. To be able to win the work your tender response must be: compliant; comparable; comprehensive; competitive; convincing; and extraordinary.

COMPLIANT—Compliant with the tender’s requirements

A tender is essentially a request for an organization to provide evidence of how well they will meet the needs of the client. The Government agency will evaluate submissions against the rules, procedures and criteria outlined in their request document. Due to Government procurement rules they will follow these procedures rigidly and without favour. To be in the running your tender must meet all the requirements of the tender.

Where you don’t meet the criteria of the tender you may have the scope to be able to submit a non-complying tender if the process allows it. However, this must be agreed and negotiated with the agency before submission.

COMPARABLE—comparable in presentation

Thousands of hours of time may go into preparing a response and it is important that it shows. There are those in the process who think that if all the information is included the document will speak for itself. Experience shows that if your documentation is presented badly it is perceived as lacking in care and is judged harshly.

You must present your documentation at least as professionally as your competitors. This means ensuring the document is well-designed and creates a professional image for your organisation. It is also very important to make sure that the document is properly edited and comprehensively proofed. Timings and costs must be checked as these can be the deal breakers. Some important considerations that are sometimes overlooked:

• Editing to ensure there is consistent style, a well-understood structure, and that the most important selling points are made clear;
• Consistent design including fonts, page layout, covers, inserts—make sure diagrams, images, CVs, case studies, support documents match in style.
• Structure and order—make sure the numbering of pages, figures and images, support documents and appendices are correct and that there is a good table of contents.
• Proofreading and checking—time is always short in preparing a tender and deadlines are met with little time to spare but it is essential to make sure all the numbers are properly checked and the text independently proof-read.
• Quality printing and binding—professional digital printing on high-quality paper presented in custom-made binding shows your organisation’s pride and professionalism.

COMPREHENSIVE—Comprehensive in addressing all the tender’s requirements

Small mistakes or omissions may disqualify you from the tender process. It is better to make sure that if you find the requirements ambiguous you provide enough information for the assessors to find what they need. Don’t allow your tender to be disqualified because it did not provide enough information.

Many requests for tender restrict the number of words or pages that can be used in responding. This is understandable but don’t allow a space restriction to prevent you from properly presenting your case. Where the space is inadequate additional information can be provided as addendums, appendices or attachments. These are increasingly provided in multi-media formats.

The tender assessors are primarily concerned with getting value for money from the provider of the service. Make sure that you provide as much information about your service provision that will help the assessment. Some of the key areas

• The relative risk of the proposal and how it will be managed and minimised, including the flexibility of the proposal and your organisation to adapt to possible change;
• The performance history of your organisation in delivering the service or similar services (to time, cost and quality). Show that you can mobilise the resources to do the work in a cost-effective way for the client, to meet deadlines and to respond to changing situations;
• All direct and indirect financial costs and benefits over the life of the procurement (including maintenance and disposal costs); and
• Your organisation’s performance in environmental, social and economic management.

COMPETITIVE—competitive in terms of value-for-money

Governments are now recognising that value-for-money (VfM) and not price is the most important aspect of assessing service or product delivery. Many organisations try to compete on price alone, which is a dangerous strategy if your competitors can undercut your price or if they can offer additional services for the same price.

Being competitive now means an emphasis on value-for-money. This is where tender can be won against your competitors. Your organisation’s bid should emphasise business benefits to the client such as: service improvements, risk reduction, energy savings and reduced greenhouse gas production, lowered maintenance costs, higher quality or reliability, or reduced whole of lifetime costs etc.

CONVINCING—convincing in making the decision easy for the panel

Selling to government is not difficult if you understand what the client wants and needs. To create a convincing argument for the assessment panel you must understand what they want, what they need and how they operate. Then you can explain clearly how your organisation will provide the wants and needs of the client.

Make sure you have developed a logical argument. The argument for the client to chose your organisation must include:

WHY—demonstrate understanding of the client organisations goals and objectives for undertaking the work;

WHAT—demonstrate detailed understanding of the client’s requirements;

WHEN—ability to meet the deadlines and timelines and to deal with contingencies;

HOW—ability to undertake the work based on capacity, resources, skills, experience and past performance and can manage financial, commercial and legal risk; and

WHERE—ability to deliver services or products to required locations

EXTRAORDINARY—extraordinary in making your bid stand out

Now that you are a fully complying bid how will you win against all the other fully complying bids? This is the most difficult question in every tender bid. Presenting bids that are differentiated from the competitors is about marketing and salesmanship. This is not about providing a neat description, with lots of clever diagrams and a colourful cover—all your competitors will be doing the same. Differentiation needs two essential components:

• PROVIDING the most innovative and value-for-money product or service; and
• CONVINCING the assessors that your solution is the most innovative and value-for-money product or service.

Marketing here is about fully understanding your client’s needs and tailoring your product to this need. This is marketing in its truest sense and must not be confused with the sense of promotions and advertising.

Convincing the assessors that your solution is the most desirable requires your bid to contain something of a “wow” factor. This is where the bid presentation needs to be creative and dynamic. Determining the wow factor also requires a good understanding of the client organisation’s needs and wants.

Extra-ordinary performance in the tender process requires that you have a superior understanding of your clients needs. You need to understand and interpret the client’s needs beyond the documentation and present your work to emphasise the superior way in which you meet their needs.

Looking at your customers in different ways can help you to adjust your marketing and advertising strategies to win more business. Madrigal Communications suggests some ways to win these different types of Australian consumer.

The Value Consumer

The Global Financial crisis has increased uncertainty about the future economy. Consumers have responded by being more conservative and cautious with their spending, either looking for better value or if not finding the value not spending at all.

As a value shopper the consumer is more analytical and more rational in their behaviour. Consumers are buying what they need now and postponing what they want until another time. They are less likely to impulse buy.

Businesses have to respond to the value customer by giving them more for less. This means giving discounts, providing better service or creating improved products. Businesses can’t rely on brand loyalty they have to give more to the discerning customer.

The Busy Consumer

In modern Australia we are all time-poor. We work long hours. We are studying hard, working hard and trying to raise our children. Both parents are working and rushing home to cook dinner and taxi their children to sports or other activities.

Time is the most important commodity. Consumers now value their time highly and put a large value on it. Supermarkets are the preferred shopping venue not because they offer choice but because they have become one-stop-shops—we can get nearly everything we need in one shopping trip.

Businesses have to respond by simplifying the buying process, by placing importance on speed, simplicity and convenience.

The Green Consumer

The rise of the environmental movement has focussed us all on protecting our planet from the detrimental effects of consumerism. We now think about what we buy in terms of the environmental impacts of the product or packaging. We all are aware that we can reduce the impact of plastic bags to the environment by using reusable bags (although we may not always use them).

There is an increasing niche market of consumers who are highly motivated to protect the environment and are willing to spend more on being environmentally friendly. Green consumers consistently discriminate in their purchases in favour of products or services that have less impact on the environment.

Businesses have to respond by being more environmentally conscious. This includes being socially, ethically, and culturally sensitive and aware in providing and marketing your product and service.

The Local Consumer

Supporting local businesses is important to many Australians. Buying from local businesses supports the local community and economy. It also offers the advantage of better quality product or service without having to travel further to get it. Consumers are becoming increasingly aware of where and how products are produced, leading to a surge in country of origin products for the retail industry.

Businesses need to respond to consumers who want meaningful relationships with the “brands” and organisations they deal with in their lives. Make sure that you have good front counter staff, make the management accessible to customers and value the customer relationship. Customers seek out personal interaction with people they can trust.

The Bored Consumer

Consumers are bombarded with advertisements and promotions and offered and infinite variety of complex plans or packages. Consumers have become de-sensitised and consequently bored with traditional retailing and advertising. Consumers have become cynical and do not engage with traditional mainstream marketing.

Consumers are therefore searching for more connection with retailers, and a more engaging shopping experience.

Businesses need to respond by offering consumers greater involvement in the transactions and more personalised products and services.

The Digital Consumer

The rise of Web II, as well as the main social media platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, has led to the emergence of “connected” consumers who spend considerable amounts of time interacting with businesses online. Digital consumers seek channels to generate recommendations for good service and to complain on line.

User generated content and online communities are changing the way consumers engage with businesses as well as changing how and why they shop.

Businesses need to respond by creating ways for on-line consumers to develop more meaningful relationships and to participate in more engaging experiences with the business. Make sure your website is linked to Facebook and customers have opportunities to engage online.

• whether to travel,
• where to travel and what to do,
• when to travel,
• how long to stay, and
• how much to spend.

While travel businesses are interested in how consumers make these decisions, the most significant one is how they choose their destination.

Most marketing activity is aimed at persuading tourists to choose a particular location. However when a tourist’s buying behaviour relates strongly to what the travel motives are it is important to look at these motives.

The five strongest motives in choosing a holiday destination were:

• to have fun,
• to visit new places,
• to relax mentally,
• to get away from everyday life, and
• to experience something new.

The five weakest motives for travelling on holiday were:

• to master a skill,
• to engage in challenging physical activities,
• to improve self-confidence,
• to engage in nature-based activities, and
• to engage in non-challenging physical activities.

There are seven key motives involved in tourism consumer behaviour:

1. Nature,
2. Social and self enhancement,
3. New experiences and knowledge,
4. Health, exercise and skill,
5. Relaxation and escape,
6. Adventure and excitement, and
7. Family, friends and fun.

So when you are thinking about your marketing plan you need to focus on one or more of these key motivations.

Here are some Sydney sporting events for you to take part in this summer.

Horsley Park Mud Run

Saturday 3 December 2011, Horsley Park

The Horsley Park Mud Run describes itself as an obstacle-jumping, mud-crawling, hill-climbing gallop around the Sydney Equestrian Cross Country Course! You can follow in the hoof-steps of the equestrian Olympians on this unusual cross-country course.

They say “you will get muddy, you will occasionally neigh or grunt like a horse but you will definitely earn your sugar cube at the finish”.

The Bondi to Bronte Ocean Swim

Sunday 4 December 2011

The Bondi to Bronte Ocean Swim has become one of the classics on the Sydney Ocean Swim calendar. The swim runs between the first two surf life saving clubs in the world.

The course starts in front of Bondi Surf Club, runs out from Bondi, around McKenzies Point and down the coast into Bronte Beach, a distance of 2.2-2.5 kilometres (depending on the positioning of the buoy).

Starting and finishing at two different beaches is one of the unique aspects of this event. Afterwards there is a celebration at Bronte Park with live music, food and entertainment for the kids.

Hawkesbury International Sand Sculpting Championships

11 January 2012 Howe Park Windsor

The Hawkesbury International Sand Sculpting Championships will be held on the banks of the Hawkesbury River at Windsor. For four days sand sculptors from Australia and around the world will compete in this inaugural event. The winner will be announced on 11 January and the exhibition will continue until 29 January.

Australian Open of Surfing

11 to 19 February 2012

The Australian Open of Surfing will take place at Sydney’s iconic Manly Beach, the spiritual home and birthplace of Australian surfing. It runs for nine days and is a celebration of surf and youth culture in Australia. It will attract the world’s elite surf and skateboard athletes, and showcase music, fashion and art.

The Wild Women on Top Sydney Coastrek

Friday 2 March 2012 to Sat 3 March 2012

The Wild Women On Top Sydney Coastrek is a 50-100 kilometre team trek along the Sydney coastline, including ocean and harbour beaches, headlands, cliff tops and bush tracks from Palm Beach to Coogee.

It is an endurance challenge, to promote health and fitness, teamwork, mental and emotional toughness and fun! The event raises money for the work of The Fred Hollows Foundation.

Wild Women On Top Sydney Coastrek is open to both men and women, but at least half the team must be women!

Mardi Gras Drag Races

Friday 2 March 2012

To win the Mardi Gras Drag Races you are going to have to get out of the lycra shorts and into a frock, paint on a moustache and spend an afternoon camping in the sun. Sydney’s drag kings and queens emerge from the nightclubs to compete at Bondi Beach in a range of competitions and games, including the Dainty Dune Dash and Handbag Discus.

Sydney Harbour Regatta

Friday 9 March to Sunday 12 March 2012

The Sydney Harbour Regatta is a major sailing event in Sydney. Over 300 yachts and 2,500 crew members compete inshore and offshore, over two days, on eight course areas and in over twenty-four divisions. It attracts the most prestigious racing yachts and the most popular international yacht racing classes.

There are also on shore activities taking place in and around the Middle Harbour Yacht Club over the weekend of the regatta.

Supercilious is a word that shows that word-makers have always had a sense of humour. Supercilious came into English in the early sixteenth century from the Latin word, supercilium, meaning haughty demeanour and pride. However its literal meaning was eyebrow from super, meaning above and cilium meaning eyelid. It comes from a description of the raised eyebrow that is an expression of arrogant contempt or haughty superiority.

When I think of supercilious my mind always conjures up a character from Jane Austen or the Bronte sisters, accustomed as they were to mingling with the haughty aristocracy of Regency England. A little search through their works yields quite a few passages—which follow, with a little abbreviating—that give a strong sense of superciliousness.

I have accompanied the passages with some of our favourite supercilious Australians.

Alan Jones never less than totally supercilious	Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte Blanche Ingram, after having repelled, by supercilious taciturnity, some efforts of Mrs. Dent and Mrs. Eshton to draw her into conversation, … had flung herself in haughty listlessness on a sofa … Agnes Grey by Anne Bronte Besides the old lady, there was another relative of the family, whose visits were a great annoyance to me – this was ‘Uncle Robson,’ … He seldom deigned to notice me; and, when he did, it was with a certain supercilious insolence of tone and manner that convinced me he was no gentleman: though it was intended to have a contrary effect.
Paul Keating known to be this supercilious	Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte What sort of a person is Miss Wilson?’ she asked. ‘She is elegant and accomplished above the generality of her birth and station; and some say she is ladylike and agreeable.’ ‘I thought her somewhat frigid, and rather supercilious in her manner today.’ The Tenant of Wildfell Hall by Anne Bronte As for Richard Wilson’s sister … shortly after the death of her mother she … took lodgings in – the county town, where she … lives … in a kind of close-fisted, cold, uncomfortable gentility, doing no good to others, and but little to herself; … loving no one and beloved by none – a cold-hearted, supercilious, keenly, insidiously censorious old maid.
Kevin Rudd even super-supercilious	Shirley by Charlotte Bronte Young ladies,’ continued Joe, assuming a lordly air, ‘ye’d better go into th’ house.’ ‘I wonder what for?’ inquired Shirley, to whom the overlooker’s somewhat pragmatical manners were familiar, and who was often at war with him; for Joe, holding supercilious theories about women in general, resented greatly, in his secret soul, the fact of his master and his master’s mill being, in a manner, under petticoat government, and had felt as wormwood and gall certain business- visits of the heiress to the Hollow’s counting-house. Shirley by Charlotte Bronte Mr. Moore, left alone, rose from his desk. ‘I can be very cool and very supercilious with Henry,’ he said. ‘I can seem to make light of his apprehensions, and look down ‘du haut de ma grandeur’ on his youthful ardour.
Fred Nile not only supercilious but sanctimonious	Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen Within a short walk of Longbourn lived a family with whom the Bennets were particularly intimate. Sir William Lucas had been formerly in trade in Meryton, where he had made a tolerable fortune, and risen to the honour of knighthood by an address to the king during his mayoralty. … For, though elated by his rank, it did not render him supercilious; on the contrary, he was all attention to everybody.

We love the word bogan. We use it to describe those uncouth people that live next door. No longer are we restricted by geography to call the uneducated, unrefined people, westies (if you live in Sydney, for instance)—our vulgar neighbours can now come from the east, the north or the south.

The word bogan has given us—the usually egalitarian Australians—a word to help us gain social superiority over other Australians without being accused of snobbery. It has also given marketers the cashed-up-bogan market segment to which they can sell beer, hair loss cures, new utes, holidays to Bali and silly sporting memorabilia.

Bogans have been described as “hyper-Australian” a concept that suggests they are the exaggerated versions of us all. There are two sub-species of bogan: the plain bogan, and the cashed-up-bogan.

Word origins

The origin of bogan is not known but its mainstream use really began with Kylie Mole in the late 1980s TV series the Comedy Club. It was used before that in parts of Australia.

Some suggest that bogan is related to the Irish/Dubliner phrase ‘bogger’ equivalent to the westie for someone from the bog areas west of Dublin.

Bogan has displaced many regional Australian words for the vulgar underclass. These words usually refer to places where members of the lowest socio-economic, cultural group are thought to breed.

In the ACT the preferred word was ‘booner’ or ‘boonie’ being a shortening of someone from the ‘boondocks’, the far-distant, uncivilized regions of the outer suburbs. Queensland had the bevan and the bev-chick; Western Australia has bogs; Tasmania has the chigger (someone from the suburb of Chigwell); the Riverina has the gullie; Victoria has the Scozzer and Melbourne the mocca.

Plain bogans

Plain male bogans wear singlets, flannelette shirts, thongs or Ugg boots and ill-fitting track-suit pants or shorts.

They have skinhead haircuts, mullets or “frullets” (front-mullets). The mullet, the hairstyle that is short at the front and long at the back, has its own regional names and varieties, “boon curls”, or “bogan rolls” (short all over except for a curling fringe at the back). Bogans are very vain about their hair and certain celebrity bogans supplement their income appearing in commercials to help prevent hair loss (or more correctly mullet loss).

Favourite things are beer (VB, veebs, or XXXX because they are easy to spell), bourbon (Jack Daniels or Jim Beam because they have people names), rugby league or Aussie rules football (the simpler the rules the better) and particular types of motor vehicle, or “wheels”, the Holden Commodore, Holden Kingswood or the Ford Falcon. Utes are de rigour.

Plain female bogans shop at Target and Best and Less. They have tramp stamps, use cheap cosmetics and fragrances, wear short, tight skirts that show too much of their physique, particularly their muffin tops. They have children (sprogs) with unique, unconventional names with eccentric spellings, such as, Anakin, Deezel, Harlee, Brock, or Sharaz.

Cashed-up-bogans

The cashed up bogan or CUB, first appeared as a marketing term for a consumer segment. It is characterized as blue-collar nouveaux riche with well paid jobs and high disposable incomes that they spend on flash items to fulfil their aspirations of higher social status. Many work hard making their money in Western Australia mines and they want to spend their income on new utes, boats and motorbikes, luxury clothing, booze, food, holidays to Bali, investment properties, sports memorabilia and flat screen televisions.

Some CUBs are giving up their utes and muscle cars for prestige cars. BMW, Audi and Lexus are advertising in the tabloid press to appeal to this market. However many CUBs don’t want to attract the attention of the tax office by driving too flash a car.

CUBs are less popular than plain bogans because they go against the idea that some people deserve to be poor and instead are buying things that the rest of us can’t afford.

Living in Boganville

Australian Prime Ministers always try to connect with the battlers and workers. Julia Gillard succeeded better than them all when she was voted Biggest Bogan of the Year last year (pushing Russell Crowe into second). A lot of people find her exaggerated, or hyper-Australian accent irritating and some think it is deliberately put on to appeal to the bogan masses.

It is understood in Canberra that Bogan-ville is Kevin Rudd’s name for The Lodge since Julia Gillard, and her boyfriend, Tim Mathieson, moved in, after his replacement as Prime Minister.

Rudd’s insult is typical of our use of bogan. The more bogan-ness we see in someone else the better we feel about ourselves. When I drive my children to school in the 4WD unshaven and wearing my tracksuit pants and ugg boots, listening to the Best of Cold Chisel, I think of myself as a relaxed and casual suburbanite a long way from being a bogan. But really, most of us live only a little to the east of Boganville.